The Truth Books Hide
by Maethordhinen
Summary: Dolores Umbrige has found what she thinks to be the best way to discredit Harry Potter; A series of books detailing his life. A Reads the books story. HP/DG/NT/HR.
1. Chapter 1

The Truths Books Hide

Maethordhinen

Summary: I know it is over used but I am going for the whole Umbridge finds the books and has them read to everyone to expose Harry. The pairing will be Harry/Daphne, with it becoming Harry/Daphne/Tonks/Hermione during book five.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, that honour goes to J. K. Rowling

A/N: Everyone already knows that Harry and Daphne are dating, but don't know how it happened, the changes to the books will be minor until sixth year. Many of you may perceive Harry to be OOC, but the way I see it, is he is sharing emotions with someone in desperate need of anger management classes, so he will be very angry, and at times quite sadistic, and he is also suffering from PTS (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) and Survivors Guilt, and will have mood changes from that. Last of all, I am too lazy to copy out the books. So I just copy and paste. But all I can ever find is the American version, and I'm British, so I automatically change some of the words and grammar to fit the English language as we use it in England, so parts of the story may look a little weird, so just try and roll with it. There will be mentions of extreme abuse.

Chapter 1: The Boy Who Lived

Madam Dolores Jane Umbridge, Undersecretary to the Minister, High Inquisitor at Hogwarts, and professor at said establishment. In her own mind she was the most important person walking through the walls, and the smartest, as she knew for a fact that the lying shite Potter would have to slip up at some point, and when he did, she would ensure he had a one way trip to Azkaban, where she would ensure that he would have a permanent guard of dementors to drive him insane.

She was walking happily through the corridors towards her office, many plans swirling through her mind, all of which pertained to Potter's downfall. As she neared her office, due to thinking so heavily. she missed a bright flash that faded as quickly as it appeared. She entered her office to see a pile of seven books, each more brightly advertised than last, but what really caught her attention was the titles of the books, as each had 'Harry Potter' at the beginning.

'I have you finally, Potter!' she thought as she cackled gleefully. She quickly levitated the books after announcing that there would be a mandatory assembly in the Great Hall, and anyone who did not attend would be punished most severely.

It was half an hour later that everyone was assembled and Umbridge stood at the podium and started to speak, "Thank you for coming to this assembly," she said in her sickly sweet voice, "I have brought you here as I have evidence that Potter is a lying brat, you see I have a pile of books here that chronicle his life, even into the future up to his seventh year, thank you."

At this point Dumbledore stood and started to speak, "I believe that it may be prudent to have everyone take an oath to prevent them from revealing Harry's deepest secrets, or his future. Everyone please repeat after me, excluding Harry, Miss Greengrass, Miss Granger, and anyone _associated with _Harry. I, insert name, swear on my soul, life and magic not to reveal Harry Potter's secrets or future, or those of his friends."

After a flash of magic had formed around everyone gathered, Dumbledore smiled benignly, and indicated for Umbridge to begin before suddenly speaking again, "Oh, and an after thought Dolores, I believe that it would be prudent to invite Mr. Lupin to join us, I will take care of that". He then summoned his Patronus, spoke to it, and sent it on his way. "I also have something to tell you before you find the _mirror_, Harry, something you will enjoy immensely."

"Now that I have everyone's attention again," Umbridge started, "I believe that in the interests of being fair everyone should be given a chance to read." At this point Remus opened the door, followed by a great big black dog, that raced at Harry, before grabbing his robe with his teeth, pulling Harry to floor, and licking his face furiously, while Harry was crying "Get off me Snuffles!" over and over again.

Following after Remus was Tonks, who looked at Harry sadly, and at Daphne with a great amount of jealousy, though the only person to notice was Hermione. Harry was so pre-occupied rolling on the floor with Snuffles that he only just noticed Umbridge telling him to start reading. With a groan he stood up, and walked over to the head table and picked up the first book.

"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" he said, rather grumpily at having to read about his life. He then decided he may as well get it over with.

**THE BOY WHO LIVED**

**Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.**

"You most certainly are not welcome!" said Fred in a mock pompous voice.

**They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense."**

"What do they mean by 'nonsense'?" asked Ron, showing complete confusion, a look mirrored by many people.

"Be quiet Ronald, we'll find out soon!" said Hermione. This caused Ron to glare at her.

**Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills.**

"20 points to any pureblood who can tell me what a drill is after we finish the book" Said Professor Burbage.

**He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors.**

"She's a nosy fecker ,isn't she?" said Seamus, much to the annoyance to the teachers, who couldn't officially discipline him, and to the great amusement of everyone else, as the students burst into laughter.

**The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.**

**The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters.**

"What's so bad about the Potter's that they despise them?" asked Professor Flitwick.

It was Harry who answered the question, "We have magic, Professor, they hate it, and anyone who can use it. You will see how much they hate it later."

**Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be.**

"UnDursleyish? What kind of word is that?" asked Ron, completely confused.

"It is a made up word Weasley, you would know that if you had two brain cells to rub together." said Malfoy, in a condescending voice.

**The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbours would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that.**

"What?" asked Daphne, "one of the kindest, most considerate people to have ever lived?" as Harry started blushing furiously.

**When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work**

"Boring people, boring attire, eh Gred?" asked George mockingly.

"Definitely, my dear Forge." Replied Fred.

**and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair. None of them noticed a large, tawny owl flutter past the window.**

"The only time she ISN'T nosy." Quipped Seamus in his Irish brogue.

**At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek, and tried to kiss Dudley good-bye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls.**

**"Little tyke," chortled Mr. Dursley**

"They encourage this?" asked Professor Sprout

"Unfortunately, yes" replied Harry, with anger, and sadness showing in his voice.

**as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number four's drive.**

**It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar - a cat reading a map.**

"You astound me Minerva, reading a map, as a cat, in a muggle dwelling." said Dumbledore, with amusement in his voice. McGonagall just glared at him.

**For a second, Mr. Dursley didn't realize what he had seen - then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back.**

"Oh no," gasped Fred, "the patented Professor McGonagall 'death glare', RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Fred screamed the last part to many people's amusement.

**As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive - no, looking at the sign; cats couldn't read maps or signs. Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day.**

"He really is a moron." Harry said in a dull voice.

**But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks.**

"Really!" McGonagall cried, "We were very nearly exposed that day!"

**Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes - the getups you saw on young people! He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by. They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak! The nerve of him! But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt - these people were obviously collecting for something... yes, that would be it.**

"What? Cloaks for kids?" asked Hermione, sarcastically while snorting.

**The traffic moved on and a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot, his mind back on drills.**

"Muggles, I always knew that they were thick and uncivilised, they can't even think of two things at one time." drawled Malfoy, once again believing himself to be superior to all other lifeforms.

**Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. If he hadn't, he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning. He didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, though people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open- mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead. Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime.**

**Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more. He was in a very good mood until lunchtime, when he thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the bakery.**

**He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn't know why, but they made him uneasy. This bunch were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying.**

**"The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard..."**

"**Yes, their son, Harry"**

Harry's voice faltered, as he knew which day this was, and he had a few tears running down his face.

**Mr. Dursley stopped dead.**

"Pity he didn't!" Harry said in a vicious voice, so unlike his own that everyone looked at him in shock, and with worry.

**Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it.**

**He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, snapped at his secretary not to disturb him, seized his telephone, and had almost finished dialing his home number when he changed his mind. He put the receiver back down and stroked his mustache, thinking... no, he was being stupid.**

"For once we agree with you!" Fred and George said in perfect harmony.

**Potter wasn't such an unusual name.**

"Greatest name in the world if you ask me." muttered Tonks, so low that only Remus heard it, making him wonder.

**He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure his nephew was called Harry. He'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold.**

**There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley; she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didn't blame her - if he'd had a sister like that... but all the same, those people in cloaks...**

**He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door.**

**"Sorry,"**

"Never knew the fat bastard knew the word." Harry growled, again causing everyone to look at him in shock, how bad was this muggle, if he openly wished death on him?

**he grunted as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell. It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak. He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passersby stare, "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!**

Again Harry's voice broke as he read this.

**And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off.**

"Only you could find the most vile Muggle on the planet to hug, Professor." mumbled Harry in an undertone. Those that heard snickered, and quickly told every else what Harry had said.

**Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, whatever that was. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off for home, hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination.**

"What a boring, depressing man." Dumbledore said, hanging his head.

**As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw - and it didn't improve his mood - was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings around its eyes.**

**"Shoo!" said Mr. Dursley loudly.**

**The cat didn't move. It just gave him a stern look.**

"It definitely is McGonagall!" Cried Fred.

"Woo Hoo, we aren't the only one she glares at!" George said in response." McGonagall glared at them, and docked them twenty points, for not addressing a professor properly.

**Was this normal cat behaviour? Mr. Dursley wondered. Trying to pull himself together, he let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife.**

**Mrs. Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learned a new word ("Shan't!").**

"Still his favourite word to this very day." Harry grumbled.

**Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living room in time to catch the last report on the evening news:**

**"And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in every direction since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern." The newscaster allowed himself a grin."Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?"**

**"Well, Ted,"**

"Hey, my dad's famous." cried Tonks, and people just stared at her, "My dad gave that news report, I can remember watching it." Tonks gave as an explanation.

**said the weatherman, "I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire, and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early - it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight."**

**Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters...**

**Mrs. Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously.**

**"Er - Petunia, dear - you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?"**

"**As he had expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister.**

"Of course she wouldn't, Mum is a million times better than her, she's just a vindictive cow!" Harry growled.

**"No," she said sharply. "Why?"**

**"Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls... shooting stars... and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today..."**

**"So?" snapped Mrs. Dursley.**

**"Well, I just thought... maybe... it was something to do with... you know... her lot."**

**Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter." He decided he didn't dare. Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son - he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?"**

**"I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.**

**"What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?"**

**"Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me."**

"No it's not!" shouted about 100 witches, and rather disturbingly, in Harry's opinion anyway, about 20 wizards. Harry looked round nervously at the wizards who had shouted, before raising his wand threateningly, though he did kiss Daphne quite heavily after she had said it, until Umbridge cleared her throat.

**"Oh, yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree."**

**He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed. While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there. It was staring down Privet Drive as though it were waiting for something.**

**Was he imagining things? Could all this have anything to do with the Potters? If it did... if it got out that they were related to a pair of - well, he didn't think he could bear it.**

"Good, he might die." Harry said venomously, causing many people to wonder just what was wrong with Harry, and what was so bad about this muggle.

**The Dursleys got into bed. Mrs. Dursley fell asleep quickly but Mr. Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. His last, comforting thought before he fell asleep was that even if the Potters were involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs. Dursley. The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind... He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on - he yawned and turned over - it couldn't affect them...**

**How very wrong he was.**

"Ha ha ha, take that you fat piece o' hippogriff dung." laughed Seamus, not noticing the deadly glare Harry was giving him, those that did shuffled away, an angry Harry was a terrifying Harry.

**Mr. Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness. It was sitting as still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed on the next street, nor when two owls swooped overhead. In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all.**

**A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground.**

Wouldn't surprise me with that man." Snape murmured.

**The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed.**

**Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice.**

"Bet you ten Galleons its Dumbledore." said Fred, as he and George shook hands.

**This man's name was Albus Dumbledore.**

"DAMMIT" cried George, as he gave Fred ten Galleons.

"Detention with Professor Hagrid tonight." said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling in overdrive.

**Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome.**

"Oh, I knew, but I also knew that any muggle who said they saw an old man in a shining robe would be thrown in a padded cell." Dumbledore said with a chuckle.

**He was busy rummaging in his cloak, looking for something. But he did seem to realize he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known."**

"Known what, Professor?" asked a first year Gryffindor.

"**He found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter. He flicked it open, held it up in the air, and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a little pop.**

"**He clicked it again - the next lamp flickered into darkness. Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer,**

"Actually, it is a Deluminator, one of my own, and best, creations." said Dumbledore.

**until the only lights left on the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even beady-eyed Mrs. Dursley, they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement. Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer**

"Deluminator." Dumbledore interjected

**back inside his cloak and set off down the street toward number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it.**

**"Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall."**

**He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone.**

"How embarrassed would you have been if it was just a cat?" asked Fred with a mischievous grin.

"Not very." Replied Dumbledore, "I've done many more embarrassing things in my life."

**Instead he was smiling at a rather severe-looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one. Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled.**

"Whoever wrote this is a master at describing people." Ron snickered. Since she couldn't discipline Ron in any way McGonagall glared at him.

**"How did you know it was me?" she asked.**

**"My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly."**

**"You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day," said Professor McGonagall.**

**"All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here."**

McGonagall sighed, "When will you realise, Albus, that life isn't all about parties."

**Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.**

**"Oh yes, everyone's celebrating, all right," she said impatiently. "You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no - even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news." She jerked her head back at the Dursleys' dark living-room window. "I heard it. Flocks of owls... shooting stars... Well, they're not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent - I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense."**

"Now Minerva, that was a bit harsh, Dedalus wasn't even near there, he was helping Icarus Minos attempt to fly into the sun."

**"You can't blame them," said Dumbledore gently. "We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years."**

All of the adults who remembered the war nodded solemnly.

**"I know that," said Professor McGonagall irritably. "But that's no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumors."**

"Bloody dunderheads nearly ousted us to the Muggles that day" growled Snape.

**She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on. "A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?"**

"Yes, he has." Umbridge said in her annoying voice.

**"It certainly seems so," said Dumbledore. "We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a sherbet lemon?"**

"What the hell is a 'Sherbet Lemon'?" asked Malfoy, confusion evident in his eyes.

**"A what?"**

Malfoy blanched at the thought of being similar to the Head of Gryffindor.

**"A sherbet lemon. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of"**

"You and your bloody sweets, Albus. How many times have I had to treat your teeth now?" Madam Pomfrey asked, shaking her head furiously.

**"No, thank you," said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for sherbet lemons.**

"It most certainly was not time for any kind of confectionery." McGonagall muttered.

**"As I say, even if You-Know-Who has gone -"**

"Which he has." said Umbridge

**"My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name? All this 'You- Know-Who' nonsense - for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: Voldemort."**

Everyone except Harry, Daphne, Remus, Hermione and Dumbledore shuddered violently.

"Why does everyone keep bloody shuddering at his name? Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort! It's not even a scary name, does anyone know what it means? It means 'Flight From Death', he's a bloody coward who's scared to die." Harry ranted angrily.

**Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemon drops, seemed not to notice. "It all gets so confusing if we keep saying 'You-Know-Who.' I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name."**

"I know the feeling, _Professor_." Harry said.

**"I know you haven 't, said Professor McGonagall, sounding half exasperated, half admiring. "But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know- oh, all right, Voldemort, was frightened of."**

**"You flatter me," said Dumbledore calmly. "Voldemort had powers I will never have."**

**"Only because you're too - well - noble to use them."**

**"It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs."**

"We never..."

"Wanted to..."

"Know, thank..."

"You very..."

"Much, Sir." the Weasley twins said.

"Ah, but how can you know that if you never knew it in the first place?" Dumbledore retorted, chuckling at the glares he was sent by Fred and George.

**Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said, "The owls are nothing next to the rumours that are flying around. You know what everyone's saying? About why he's disappeared? About what finally stopped him?"**

"What? That he is a snake-faced arse-hole who couldn't beat a 1-year old?" Harry asked innocently.

"5 points from Gryffindor for foul language, Potter." McGonagall retorted.

**It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold, hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now. It was plain that whatever "everyone" was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true. Dumbledore, however, was choosing another lemon drop and did not answer.**

"Doddering old coot." McGonagall muttered, though it still carried through the hall, gaining chuckles.

**"What they're saying," she pressed on, "is that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow. He went to find the Potters. The rumour is that Lily and James Potter are - are - that they're - dead. "**

Everyone noticed that Harry's voice faltered when he finished that sentence, many sending him pitying looks, and Daphne squeezing his leg comfortingly.

**Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped.**

**"Lily and James... I can't believe it... I didn't want to believe it... Oh, Albus..."**

"**Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "I know... I know..." he said heavily.**

"**Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on. "That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potter's son, Harry.**

The furious growl that erupted from Tonks startled a lot of people, including Harry, after all, why should an Auror who barely knows Harry get so angry at the mention of the attack on his life?

"**But – he couldn't.**

"**He couldn't kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke - and that's why he's gone.**

**Dumbledore nodded glumly.**

**"It's - it's true?" faltered Professor McGonagall. "After all he's done... all the people he's killed... he couldn't kill a little boy? It's just astounding... of all the things to stop him... but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?"**

**"We can only guess," said Dumbledore. "We may never know."**

"You do, you manipulative bastard." Harry growled under his breath.

**Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles. Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it. It was a very odd watch. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge. It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though,**

"Of course it did, him and it are both completely mental" Harry said loudly, getting chuckles from other students.

**because he put it back in his pocket and said, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?"**

**"Yes," said Professor McGonagall. "And I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you're here, of all places?"**

**"I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now."**

"A family of inferi would have been better." Harry said loudly.

"Why do you say that, Harry?" asked Dumbledore.

"At least with inferi, I can understand the attempts to kill me." Harry replied, causing everyone in the hall excluding Umbridge and Fudge to gasp in horror, though no-one had the chance to say anything as Harry started reading again.

**"You don't mean - you can't mean the people who live here?" cried Professor McGonagall, jumping to her feet and pointing at number four.**

**"Dumbledore - you can't. I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son - I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets.**

"Once again, he still does that." Harry said.

"**Harry Potter come and live here!"**

**"It's the best place for him," said Dumbledore firmly. "His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter."**

"You left them a letter, a ruddy letter, you really are daft old coot, aren't you Professor." Harry said loudly, which shocked almost everyone, as they all thought that he was Dumbledore's man, to the end.

**"A letter?" repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall. "Really, Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter?**

"**These people will never understand him! He'll be famous – a legend - I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in the future**

"Don't worry, Harry, it isn't." Hermione said, noticing him ready to ask if it was.

"**- there will be books written about Harry - every child in our world will know his name!"**

**"Exactly," said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses. "It would be enough to turn any boy's head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! Can't you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?"**

"Define better off." Daphne mumbled, though only Harry caught it, so he kissed her gently on the cheek as a thank you.

**Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed, and then said, "Yes - yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?" She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.**

**"Hagrid's bringing him."**

**"You think it - wise - to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?"**

"**I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore.**

**"I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place," said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to - what was that?"**

"Sorry Hagrid." McGonagall said quietly.

"It's alrigh' Professor." Hagrid replied.

**A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky – and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.**

**If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it.**

**He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so wild – long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of trash can lids, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets.**

**"Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"**

**"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sit," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it to me.**

Harry smiled to himself briefly at the mention of his Godfather, as he ruffled Snuffles' fur.

"**I've got him, sir."**

**"No problems, were there?"**

**"No, sir - house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol."**

Most of the girls 'Awwed'.

**Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep.**

**Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.**

You were such an adorable little baby, Mister Potter." McGonagall called down from the Head Table. Harry blushed furiously in response.

**"Is that where -?" whispered Professor McGonagall.**

**"Yes," said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever."**

**"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"**

**"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground."**

"Can we see?" asked Fred, in an excited tone.

"I'm afraid not, Mister Weasley, I believe that it is only Mister Potter who has faced horrors bad enough to be able to view that." Dumbledore replied, chuckling.

"**Well - give him here, Hagrid - we'd better get this over with."**

**Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned toward the Dursleys' house.**

**"Could I - could I say good-bye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.**

"Glad to know you care, Professor." Harry said with a smile.

**"Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall, "you'll wake the Muggles!"**

**"S-s-sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large, spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it - Lily an' James dead - an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles -"**

**"Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found," Professor "McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep,**

"On a doorstep," Harry said darkly, "you left me on a doorstep, HAVE YOU GONE BLOODY BATTY?!" Harry shouted at the top of his voice, scaring everyone but Dumbledore, yet Daphne stood up and put her hands on his shoulders to try and calm him down, "Harry, Harry look at me, it's not Dumbledore you're angry at, you know it isn't, he has only done what is right for you, and you said earlier in the year, that you are feeling anger that isn't yours, it could be this anger that is affecting you, just, please Harry, please calm down, please,...for me, I love you too much to see you go dark."

The last part of what Daphne said was punctuated by a large sob, before Harry calmed down, and pulled her onto his lap, where he held her.

"Due to circumstances out of his control, I shall not reprimand Harry, as he is under a great deal of stress that no one else could possibly imagine."

**took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets, and then came back to the other two.**

**For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling light that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.**

"Incredible" Snape whispered in surprise.

**"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations."**

**"Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I'll be takin' Sirius his bike back. G'night, Professor McGonagall - Professor Dumbledore, sir."**

**Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night.**

**"I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall," said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.**

Fred tsked as he said, "Didn't anyone ever each you any manners, Professor?" McGonagall just glared at him.

**Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer.**

"Deluminator." Dumbledore once again said.

**He clicked it once, and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four.**

**"Good luck, Harry," he murmured. He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak, he was gone.**

"Yeah, like that did me any good." Harry said grumpily.

**A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets without waking up. One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley...**

**He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: "To Harry Potter - the boy who lived!"**

"Stupid bloody title, caused me nothing but misery." Harry groused.

"Who's reading next?" asked Harry, causing Hermione to wave her hand in the air, resulting in Harry chuckling as he passed the book to her.

A/N: First, to anyone who doesn't understand the Dedalus joke, it is Greek mythology, Daedalus was the father of Icarus, who flew toward the Sun wearing wings created by Daedalus using feathers and wax, the end result is Icarus died after the wax melted while they were trying to escape from the island of Crete, but as Diggle doesn't have much sense, instead of stopping Icarus he helps him. Second the Minos bit is precluding the first part really, as it was on the order on of the king of Minos that Daedalus built the Labyrinth to contain the Minotaur. I might throw in references to people and places in History throughout.

The part about Dumbledore talking to a cat is a reference to Lego Harry Potter Years 1-4, where he gives a cat a belly-rub, thinking it is McGonagall.


	2. The Vanishing Glass

The Truth Books Hide

Maethordhinen

Summary: See the first chapter.

Disclaimer: See the first chapter.

Chapter 2: The Vanishing Glass

**The Vanishing Glass**

"So we get to hear about you're accidental magic then?" asked Hermione with a grin, while Harry nodded his head, while laughing softly.

Hermione started reading wanting to hear about the accidental magic.

**Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all.**

"Bloody boring people there, don't you agree Fred?" said George, while McGonagall shouted at him for language.

**The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls.**

Drama Queens," Hermione snorted, "You would think that they had been given the death sentence."

**Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed. Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets**

Everyone laughed at the description given of Dudley.

**but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blond boy riding his first bicycle,**

'Which he broke,' Fred said in a mysterious voice.

Harry sniggered.

**on a carousel at the fair,**

"Which he broke." Fred repeated.

**playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too.**

"Why are there no pictures of you?" Hermione asked in a dangerous voice, "Oh, and please don't insult my intelligence by lying."

"I don't like cameras." Harry said automatically.

**Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day.**

Harry groaned loudly. He knew what was coming next, and he wasn't eager for people to know about his home life.

Hermione turned to Harry just in time to see him smash his head against the table, burying his head in his arms, so only his messy black hair was visible.

'Harry, are you alright?' Daphne asked, concern lacing her voice.

Harry just groaned again

"**Up! Get up! Now!"**

"Sounds worse than a banshee." Seamus remarked casually.

**Harry woke with a start. His aunt rapped on the door again.**

"Gave me a headache, that did." Harry mumbled from the table.

"**Up!" she screeched. Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove. He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorcycle in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before.**

'Well, Harry dear, you see-' began George, beginning to smile.

'-you _did _have that dream before,' said Fred, beaming.

'In fact, it wasn't even a dream,' they said together.

Harry's reply was muffled against the table, though it must be said that no person can bend over to do what he suggested.

**His aunt was back outside the door.**

"**Are you up yet?" she demanded.**

"**Nearly," said Harry.**

"**Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon.**

"They made you cook?" Hermione asked, her voice dangerously calm.

Harry attempted to nod, as much as he could when his head was against a table.

"For how long?" she asked calmly.

"Since I was seven or eight?, Don't worry, I enjoyed it." came the muffled reply from beneath the messy tangled hair.

Hermione and Tonks scowled, and red was beginning to appear on Hermione's cheeks again.

**And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday."**

**Harry groaned.**

"**What did you say?" his aunt snapped through the door.**

'He didn't say _anything_!' Tonks snarled, again startling people.

"**Nothing, nothing…"**

**Dudley's birthday — how could he have forgotten?**

"Because that pig doesn't bear thinking about" Harry snarled, his head still against the table.

Seamus, Dean and Ron snorted.

**Harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. He found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider off one of them**

Ron shuddered. 'Why'd you have to mention spiders?' he whimpered.

Fred and George exchanged evil grins.

**, put them on. Harry was used to spiders**

'Until second year, when we were nearly eaten by an oversized monster-spider,' Susan Bones added from a few seats down the table. She heard Harry's muffled snort, and people looked at them curiously, not knowing this story.

'Second year,' said Susan, blushing slightly. 'Long story.'

**, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them**

Harry gritted his teeth. It felt as though someone had forcibly dropped a pile of ice into the bottom of his stomach, each piece of ice adding to the dread of people finding out.

**, and that was where he slept.**

Harry could feel, rather than hear the silence that had encompassed the Great Hall, before he felt Daphne start sobbing into his back, and Hermione rubbing soothing circles.

"Why did you never tell us, Harry?" asked Daphne, her voice wavering with great sadness.

"I never wanted anyone to worry about me." was Harry's reply.

"I'll always worry about you Harry, you mean to much to me for me not to worry." Daphne replied.

**When he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. The table was almost hidden beneath all Dudley's birthday presents.**

Harry scowled to himself at the memories of the many times he had to see that scene.

**It looked as though Dudley had gotten the new computer he wanted, not to mention the second television and the racing bike. Exactly why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to Harry, as Dudley was very fat and hated exercise**

"Surprised the fat-""HARRY""-knew what exercise was."

**unless of course it involved punching somebody.**

"And of course it will mean you" said Hermione, very angrily.

**Dudley's favorite punching bag was Harry**

"Of course it would be you."

Daphne looked furious, but kept her temper in check, knowing how reclusive Harry could get when someone shouted at him.

**, but he couldn't often catch him.**

'Well, there's that, at least,' Hermione muttered.

**Harry didn't look it, but he was very fast.**

"I would have said that you were quicker than the Flash," said Hermione.

"Who's the Flash?" asked a pure-blood.

"Muggle superhero, who can run just short of **671, 080, 888 mph,********of course, Harry can't really run that fast, I was just exaggerating."**

**Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard,**

Tonks, Daphne and Hermione all growled loudly, with Tonks again getting weird looks.

**but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age.**

'Scrawny git,' George stage whispered to his twin, causing them to start laughing.

The laughing stopped however, when Harry glared at them furiously.

**He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley's,**

'They really hate you, don't they?' Neville Longbottom said, speaking for the first time.

Harry grinned sardonically. 'The feeling's mutual,' he said wryly.

**and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was.**

"Strange," said Daphne, "when I saw him this past summer, he seemed a lot bigger than that."

"Dudley's like a balloon" Harry said, "he keeps getting filled with hot air from all the rubbish his parents tell him.

**Harry had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair,**

"James," said McGonagall fondly.

**and bright green eyes.**

"Lily," Snape murmured, even though nobody heard him.

**He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Sellotape**

"Why?" Susan asked.

**because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose.**

"Ah."

**The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning.**

"You liked that?" Hermione asked quietly, turning to her best friend.

Harry flattened his fringe over his forehead again. 'It was the only thing I had that Dud couldn't take from me. It made me different,' he explained, sighing. 'I despise it now.'

People shot him more pitying glances, which he pointedly ignored.

**He had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had gotten it.**

"**In the car crash when your parents died,"**

"She _lied _to you?" Hermione hissed dangerously.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Harry replied, his voice calm and unconcerned, although he was speaking through slightly clenched teeth.

For some reason, that didn't calm Hermione down much.

It was taking every measure of self control on Snape's part to not rush off and curse Petunia Dursley into oblivion. James Potter, yes, he could have been stupid enough to die in a car crash, but _Lily_? Lily would never have died in a car crash…

**she had said. "And don't ask questions."**

"But how do you learn if you don't ask questions?" Terry Boot of Ravenclaw asked, since asking questions and learning was an important part of being in Ravenclaw house.

_**Don't ask questions**_— **that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys.**

"Boring life, yes. Quiet life, not so much," Harry commented casually.

**Uncle Vernon entered the kitchen as Harry was turning over the bacon.**

"**Comb your hair!" he barked, by way of a morning greeting.**

"That's what we're gonna do," said Seamus, grinning widely.

"Every morning," Dean added.

"You do, and I'll make Voldemort look like a flobberworm" Daphne hissed, while running her hand through Harry's hair.

**About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his newspaper and shouted that Harry needed a haircut. Harry must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way — all over the place.**

Daphne just smiled and remarked "I love your hair Harry, so soft, I could run my fingers through it all day." Harry smiled and gave her a gentle kiss.

**Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley arrived in the kitchen with his mother. Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head.**

Padma Patil at the Ravenclaw table looked like she was going to vomit very soon. Parvati didn't look that much better.

'GORGEOUS!' Lee Jordan roared across the Hall. There was a roar of laughter at the random comment from the Quidditch commentator.

**Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel — Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.**

"Now Harry, really," Said Luna, "You shouldn't insult the pigs." Harry snorted with laughter after Luna's comment.

**Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was difficult as there wasn't much room. Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. His face fell.**

"**Thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father. "That's two less than last year."**

Draco Malfoy choked on his intake of breath. '_Thirty-six_?' he questioned, speaking for the first time. 'Even I don't get that many. Not that I need much,' he quickly added, seeing the amused stares coming from the other Houses.

"**Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's here under this big one from Mummy and Daddy."**

"**All right, thirty-seven then," said Dudley, going red in the face. Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.**

Hermione sighed, "Is that why you eat so quickly?" At Harry's nod she just said, "Well, at least you have more manners than Weasley over there.

**Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, "And we'll buy you another **_**two **_**presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin? **_**Two **_**more presents. Is that all right?"**

"And he gets _two _more?" Professor Sprout said disapprovingly, shaking her head. "The child will end up even worse!"

**Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work.**

"Oh, it will have been," Harry said, completely serious. "If Uncle Vernon has one brain cell, then Dud has a quarter of a brain cell."

Chuckles were heard across the Hall again.

**Finally he said slowly, "So I'll have thirty… thirty…"**

"Honestly!" Hermione huffed, "He can't even add two to thirty-seven!"

"**Thirty-nine, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia.**

"**Oh." Dudley sat down heavily and grabbed the nearest parcel. "All right then."**

**Uncle Vernon chuckled.**

"**Little tyke wants his money's worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!" He ruffled Dudley's hair.**

"Very good parenting, encouraging that behaviour," Professor Sinistra sniffed.

**At that moment the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went to answer it while Harry and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a VCR.**

"A _what_, a _what _and a _what_?" asked a Slytherin pureblood, a slight sneer there.

"Muggle things," Hermione said, but didn't elaborate any further on what they were.

**He was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch when Aunt Petunia came back from the telephone looking both angry and worried.**

"**Bad news, Vernon," she said. "Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She can't take him." She jerked her head in Harry's direction.**

"Do they _ever _use your name?" Ginny asked, looking at Harry.

"Now that I think about it, I don't think that they have.

**Dudley's mouth fell open in horror, but Harry's heart gave a leap. Every year on Dudley's birthday, his parents took him and a friend out for the day, to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the movies. Every year, Harry was left behind with Mrs. Figg, a mad old lady who lived two streets away.**

"Mad is a very subjectve term, Harry," said Katie, "after all, all of us that know you think that you are mad as a badger." Everyone just looked at Katie as though she had gone mad.

**Harry hated it there. The whole house smelled of cabbage and Mrs. Figg made him look at photographs of all the cats she'd ever owned.**

"Now do you see why I can't stand the blasted things?" asked Harry, "Though the toads office certainly doesn't help."

"**Now what?" said Aunt Petunia, looking furiously at Harry as though he'd planned this.**

"Hmm, yes, I do go around plotting how to break old lady's legs and ruin my relatives' day," Harry said dramatically.

Katie sniggered. "SEE! It proves that you are mad!" Katie shouted with a mock pompous air.

**Harry knew he ought to feel sorry that Mrs. Figg had broken her leg, but it wasn't easy when he reminded himself it would be a whole year before he had to look at Tibbles, Snowy, Mr. Paws, and Tufty again.**

"Harry," Hermione reprimanded, although it was half-hearted.

"Trust me, I wanted to feel sorry for her," said Harry, beginning to smile guiltily. 'But you'd find it difficult as well.'

Hermione stared at him for a moment before shaking her head, and muttering "Boys"

"**We could phone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggested.**

"**Don't be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy."**

'"Bloody woman. Pain in my-""HARRY JAMES POTTER""arse."

**The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there — or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug.**

Luna stared at Harry for a few seconds before saying "You certainly aren't a slug, possibly a 'Hiccuping wumbummble, but definitely not a slug." Harry just stared at Luna, opening and closing his mouth a few time, before concluding that he didn't want to know.

"**What about what's-her-name, your friend — Yvonne?"**

"**On vacation in Majorca," snapped Aunt Petunia.**

"**You could just leave me here," Harry put in hopefully (he'd be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley's computer).**

"Harry, you should know by now that if there is a chance of you having fun, then they will not do it."

**Aunt Petunia looked as though she'd just swallowed a lemon.**

'Sounds a charmer,' said Ernie MacMillian.

"**And come back and find the house in ruins?" she snarled.**

"Again, they have discovered how I spend my free time, and now, THE MAD BOMBER, AWAY!" Harry shouted before conjuring a cape, and casting 'Wingardium Leviosa' on himself to start flying.

"Mad as a badger." Katie sing-songed mockingly.

"**I won't blow up the house," said Harry**

"Shoot, my plan went up in smoke." Harry mock wept, after saying this.

**, but they weren't listening.**

'A regular occurrence,' said Harry in an unconcerned voice.

"**I suppose we could take him to the zoo," said Aunt Petunia slowly, "… and leave him in the car…"**

"What do they think you are, a dog?" Hermione fumed.

"Woof" Harry said. Hermione just stared at him.

"**That car's new, he's not sitting in it alone…"**

**Dudley began to cry loudly. In fact, he wasn't really crying — it had been years since he'd really cried — but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted.**

"Who does that remind you of?" Alicia muttered to Harry, glancing pointedly at where Malfoy was sitting. Harry grinned, biting back a snigger.

"**Dinky Duddydums,**

There was silence for all of three seconds before an explosion of laughter happened, with many people collapsing to the ground, unable to breathe.

**don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!" she cried, flinging her arms around him.**

"Hmm, I think my aunt Petunia might be Mr. Fantastic." Harry mused, gazing off into space, while Hermione collapsed into gales of laughter.

"**I… don't… want… him… t-t-to come!" Dudley yelled between huge, pretend sobs. "He always sp-spoils everything!" He shot Harry a nasty grin through the gap in his mother's arms.**

"Fat git." Alicia said, quite annoyed.

**Just then, the doorbell rang — "Oh, good Lord, they're here!" said Aunt Petunia frantically — and a moment later, Dudley's best friend, Piers Polkiss, walked in with his mother. Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat. He was usually the one who held people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hit them. Dudley stopped pretending to cry at once.**

"Course you did," said Cho Chang bitterly.

**Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn't believe his luck, was sitting in the back of the Dursleys' car with Piers and Dudley, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life. His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything else to do with him, but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside.**

"**I'm warning you," he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's,**

"Eww!" Lavender and Parvati squealed, looking revolted.

"**I'm warning you now, boy — any funny business, anything at all — and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas."**

"Does he mean that?" Hermione breathed, dangerously calm again.

"No, he had another punishment in mind." Harry said, before shuddering violently.

"**I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "honestly…"**

**But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. No one ever did.**

**The problem was, strange things often happened around Harry and it was just no good telling the Dursleys he didn't make them happen.**

**Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barbers looking as though he hadn't been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald except for his bangs, which she left "to hide that horrible scar."**

'What. An. Awful. Woman,' Ginny snarled viciously.

**Dudley had laughed himself silly at Harry, who spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses. Next morning, however, he had gotten up to find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off.**

"Are you a Metamorphmagus? Asked Tonks.

"Dunno, why?"

"Just, your hair regrowing in the space of a night, I'll have to check you later."

"If it helps, I haven't had a single hair cut since then, and my hair has stayed the same length."

**He had been given a week in his cupboard for this, even though he had tried to explain that he **_**couldn't **_**explain how it had grown back so quickly.**

**Another time, Aunt Petunia had been trying to force him into a revolting old sweater of Dudley's (brown with orange puff balls).**

Harry sniggered as Lavender and Parvati were almost sick at the description of it.

**The harder she tried to pull it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, until finally it might have fitted a hand puppet, but certainly wouldn't fit Harry. Aunt Petunia had decided it must have shrunk in the wash and, to his great relief, Harry wasn't punished.**

"Good," Ginny and Hermione breathed.

**On the other hand, he'd gotten into terrible trouble for being found on the roof of the school kitchens.**

"Why must you always go places that you shouldn't?" asked Hermione, with a large sigh.

Harry replied cheekily, "If I don't, who will?"

**Dudley's gang had been chasing him as usual when, as much to Harry's surprise as anyone else's, there he was sitting on the chimney.**

"Awesome! You Apparated!" Astoria Greengrass cried in awe.

Harry shrugged sheepishly. "That, or I flew. Can't really remember. I was about seven," he mused thoughtfully.

The teachers looked at each other. That was beyond powerful Accidental magic for a seven year old. Perhaps they should keep a closer eye on the Gryffindor for signs of great power.

**The Dursleys had received a very angry letter from Harry's headmistress telling them Harry had been climbing school buildings. But all he'd tried to do (as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard) was jump behind the big trash cans outside the kitchen doors. Harry supposed that the wind must have caught him in mid-jump.**

**But today, nothing was going to go wrong. It was even worth being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day somewhere that wasn't school, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg's cabbage-smelling living room.**

**While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank, and Harry were just a few of his favorite subjects.**

Dumbledore felt sick when he heard how much Dursley liked to complain about Harry

**This morning, it was motorcycles.**

"…**roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums," he said, as a motorcycle overtook them.**

"**I had a dream about a motorcycle," said Harry, remembering suddenly. "It was flying."**

"Harry, you truly are an idiot."

"**Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the car in front. He turned right around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a gigantic beet with a mustache:**

"**MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!"**

"Hmm, incontrovertible proof that Dursley is an utter moron." Snape said while sneering

**Dudley and Piers sniggered.**

"**I know they don't," said Harry. "It was only a dream."**

**But he wished he hadn't said anything. If there was one thing the Dursleys hated even more than his asking questions, it was his talking about anything acting in a way it shouldn't, no matter if it was in a dream or even a cartoon — they seemed to think he might get dangerous ideas.**

"You could lock Harry in a small empty room, and he would still get dangerous ideas." Hermione muttered fondly.

**It was a very sunny Saturday and the zoo was crowded with families. The Dursleys bought Dudley and Piers large chocolate ice creams at the entrance and then, because the smiling lady in the van had asked Harry what he wanted before they could hurry him away, they bought him a cheap lemon ice pop.**

"I like those," said Hermione, smiling at the memory of the flavour.

**It wasn't bad, either, Harry thought, licking it as they watched a gorilla scratching its head who looked remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn't blond.**

"Harry, please don't insult the animals like that, they can't help it if Dudley is a fat, ugly, horrid little creature.

**Harry had the best morning he'd had in a long time. He was careful to walk a little way apart from the Dursleys so that Dudley and Piers, who were starting to get bored with the animals by lunchtime, wouldn't fall back on their favorite hobby of hitting him.**

Hermione snarled under her breath.

**They ate in the zoo restaurant, and when Dudley had a tantrum because his knickerbocker glory didn't have enough ice cream on top, Uncle Vernon bought him another one and Harry was allowed to finish the first.**

**Harry felt, afterward, that he should have known it was all too good to last.**

"Oh no," Hermione groaned, looking at her best friend, who smiled sheepishly.

**After lunch they went to the reptile house. It was cool and dark in there, with lit windows all along the walls. Behind the glass, all sorts of lizards and snakes were crawling and slithering over bits of wood and stone. Dudley and Piers wanted to see huge, poisonous cobras and thick, man-crushing pythons. Dudley quickly found the largest snake in the place. It could have wrapped its body twice around Uncle Vernon's car and crushed it into a trash can — but at the moment it didn't look in the mood. In fact, it was fast asleep.**

"It's the snake equivalent of Ron," Ginny gasped, looking horrified.

Ron sent a death glare her way, but his sister continued to giggle.

**Dudley stood with his nose pressed against the glass,**

"His nose squashed like a pigs," Lee predicted accurately, earning a few snorts.

**staring at the glistening brown coils.**

"**Make it move," he whined at his father. Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass, but the snake didn't budge.**

"**Do it again," Dudley ordered. Uncle Vernon rapped the glass smartly with his knuckles, but the snake just snoozed on.**

"**This is boring," Dudley moaned. He shuffled away.**

**Harry moved in front of the tank and looked intently at the snake. He wouldn't have been surprised if it had died of boredom itself — no company except stupid people drumming their fingers on the glass trying to disturb it all day long. It was worse than having a cupboard as a bedroom, where the only visitor was Aunt Petunia hammering on the door to wake you up; at least he got to visit the rest of the house.**

"You're comparing yourself to a snake, mate, you know that?" Dean asked.

Harry shrugged, uncaring. "Yeah, I knew. Didn't bother me.'"

**The snake suddenly opened its beady eyes. Slowly, very slowly, it raised its head until its eyes were on a level with Harry's.**

_**It winked.**_

"How is that even possible?" Hermione asked, narrowing her eyes slightly as she thought about it. "Snakes don't have eyelids."

**Harry stared. Then he looked quickly around to see if anyone was watching. They weren't. He looked back at the snake and winked, too.**

**The snake jerked its head toward Uncle Vernon and Dudley, then raised its eyes to the ceiling. It** **gave Harry a look that said quite plainly:**

"_**I get that all the time."**_

"**I know," Harry murmured through the glass, though he wasn't sure the snake could hear him. "It must be really annoying."**

**The snake nodded vigorously.**

"You're having a conversation with a snake?" Neville asked, raising an eyebrow.

Harry shrugged again. "We were both lonely, and the snake seemed bored," he replied matter-of-factly.

Neville shook his head, smiling fondly. "You're mental, you know that? Mental."

Harry grinned, knowing that Neville was joking. "If I'm mental, then what are you for hanging around with me?"

Neville answered by punching Harry lightly on the arm.

"**Where do you come from, anyway?" Harry asked.**

**The snake jabbed its tail at a little sign next to the glass. Harry peered at it.**

**Boa Constrictor, Brazil.**

"**Was it nice there?"**

**The boa constrictor jabbed its tail at the sign again and Harry read on: This specimen was bred in the zoo. "Oh, I see — so you've never been to Brazil?"**

"So, you're having a conversation with a snake about Brazil?" Hermione asked faintly.

"Technically, he's allowed to talk with snakes. He's a Parselmouth, remember?" Fred pointed out, trying to fight a grin but failing.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

**As the snake shook its head, a deafening shout behind Harry made both of them jump. "DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING!"**

**Dudley came waddling toward them as fast as he could.**

"That doesn't seem right," Hermione mused. "Waddlingmakes me think of penguins."

Harry snorted. "Dud is no penguin, I assure you." He frowned as he thought of a better animal likeness for his cousin. "More like a whale," he concluded.

"**Out of the way, you," he said, punching Harry in the ribs.**

Ginny hissed.

**Caught by surprise, Harry fell hard on the concrete floor.**

Hermione growled at the book in McGonagall's hands, looking as though she were willing it to explode.

Similarly, a lot of the teachers were looking at the book like that, as though it was the book's fault.

**What came next happened so fast no one saw how it happened — one second, Piers and Dudley were leaning right up close to the glass, the next, they had leapt back with howls of horror.**

'What did you do?' Hermione asked cautiously.

'How do you know I did anything?' Harry grinned.

'I know you,' Hermione sighed.

Harry and Ron sniggered.

**Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor's tank had vanished.**

'Awesome!' Colin and Dennis Creevey yelled.

McGonagall had stopped reading for a moment and was looking over at Harry. 'Impressive, Potter,' she said, looking at him over her small glasses. 'Why can't you manage that in my classes?'

'Haven't got a snake to talk to in your classes, Professor,' Harry answered her, grinning.

**The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. People throughout the reptile house screamed and started running for the exits.**

**As the snake slid swiftly past him, Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, **_**"Brazil, here I come… Thanksss, amigo."**_

'The snake thanked you?' Ron chuckled.

'I don't know whether it reached Brazil. It seemed to think it could,' Harry said thoughtfully. 'I hope it did. And anyway,' he added, seeing Ron's amused expression that seemed to be permanently etched on his face, 'it was nicer than the basilisk. All that _snake_ had done was try to kill me.'

**The keeper of the reptile house was in shock.**

"**But the glass," he kept saying, "where did the glass go?"**

'Vanished by magic,' Seamus answered for him.

**The zoo director himself made Aunt Petunia a cup of strong, sweet tea while he apologized over and over again. Piers and Dudley could only gibber. As far as Harry had seen, the snake hadn't done anything except snap playfully at their heels as it passed**

'I like that snake,' said Fred, smiling widely.

'I doubt you'll be able to find it,' said Harry to Fred, guessing what was going through the freckled prankster's mind. 'This was four years ago.'

'Shame,' said George in mock disappointment.

**, but by the time they were all back in Uncle Vernon's car, Dudley was telling them how it had nearly bitten off his leg, while Piers was swearing it had tried to squeeze him to death. But worst of all, for Harry at least, was Piers calming down enough to say, "Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?"**

'Oh no,' Hermione breathed.

**Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, "Go — cupboard — stay — no meals," before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.**

'What does he mean by that?' McGonagall demanded, looking over at Harry.

'The equivalent of being grounded, basically,' Harry answered calmly, deliberately not looking her quite in the eye.

Snape glared at him suspiciously, but made no comment on it.

**Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. He didn't know what time it was and he couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, he couldn't risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food.**

'Ah, so you'd had practice sneaking around _before _Hogwarts,' observed George, beaming at Harry.

'As we said, you need to come pranking with us,' said Fred cheerfully.

Harry smirked. 'I already said _we'll see_.'

The twins pouted mockingly.

**He'd lived with the Dursleys almost ten years, ten miserable years**

Harry sent a pointed glare at Dumbledore, who was busy examining the ceiling of the Hall. Typical, the old man was ignoring him again.

_Why didn't you listen to McGonagall,_ he couldn't stop himself from thinking irritably.

**, as long as he could remember, ever since he'd been a baby and his parents had died in that car crash. He couldn't remember being in the car when his parents had died.**

'Because it wasn't a car crash,' said Flitwick sadly, shaking his head.

**Sometimes, when he strained his memory during long hours in his cupboard, he came up with a strange vision: a blinding flash of green light and a burning pain on his forehead.**

'You – you remember that?' stammered McGonagall, looking over the book at her student in disbelief.

Harry shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with the so many pairs of eyes fixed on him. 'More clearly now,' he answered softly, a hint of agony entering his voice for the first time.

Snape exchanged a dark look with Dumbledore at that.

**This, he supposed, was the crash, though he couldn't imagine where all the green light came from.**

'That's because it wasn't a car crash,' Sprout whispered sorrowfully. 'You were hit by the Killing Curse.'

**He couldn't remember his parents at all. His aunt and uncle never spoke about them, and of course he was forbidden to ask questions.**

The Ravenclaws scowled again at not being able to ask questions.

**There were no photographs of them in the house.**

**When he had been younger, Harry had dreamed and dreamed of some unknown relation coming to take him away, but it had never happened;**

'Yeah, because he was wrongly imprisoned in Azkaban,' Harry muttered to Ron and Hermione, venom there again.

**the Dursleys were his only family.**

'No, they're not,' said Ron seriously, looking at his best friend.

'You've got us,' Hermione said, smiling.

'Yeah, mum considers you as part of the family,' said Ginny, unable to stop blushing again, although it was more of a red tinge on her pale skin.

Harry grinned at them all. 'You're right,' he smirked.

'I know I'm right,' Hermione said smugly.

Harry responded by reaching across the table and lightly slapping her arm, continuing to grin amusedly.

**Yet sometimes he thought (or maybe hoped) that strangers in the street seemed to know him. Very strange strangers they were, too. A tiny man in a violet top hat had bowed to him once while out shopping with Aunt Petunia and Dudley.**

'Dedalus Diggle,' Harry muttered to Ron and Hermione.

**After asking Harry furiously if he knew the man, Aunt Petunia had rushed them out of the shop without buying anything. A wild-looking old woman dressed all in green had waved merrily at him once on a bus. A bald man in a very long purple coat had actually shaken his hand in the street the other day and then walked away without a word. The weirdest thing about all these people was the way they seemed to vanish the second Harry tried to get a closer look.**

'It really confused me,' Harry added, frowning.

**At school, Harry had no one. Everybody knew that Dudley's gang hated that odd Harry Potter in his baggy old clothes and broken glasses, and nobody liked to disagree with Dudley's gang.**


End file.
